Letter to Emily

Feb 2008

Dear Emily,

Here I am 37 1/2 weeks pregnant, sitting in your Snoopy nursery. There are so many things on my mind and so many things I want you to know. I love you so much! I have only seen you on the ultrasound, but as I feel you move everyday, I love you even more. I can't wait to hold you and to see you.
I have wanted to be a mom since I was little. Growing up, wherever there was a baby, there I was holding them. I have always loved being around kids, that is why I became a nanny. I was ready to have a baby as soon as your daddy and I got married, but we had agreed to wait at least a year. But when the year was up, your daddy still wasn't ready so I waited. Years passed, then one day, out of the blue, your daddy said he was ready. I was SO excited!
I remember the day I found out I was pregnant. It seems like only yesterday. Your daddy and I agreed I would wait and take the pregnancy test on Sat., but I just couldn't wait, so on Fri. morning after your dad went to work, I took the test. I tried not to get my hopes up, I had already taken several tests in the months before, and they had all been negative, so I was preparing myself for yet another negative test. Imagine my surprise when it was positive! I couldn't believe it! I turned to Nova(one of our cats) who was sitting outside the door, and shouted "I'm pregnant!!" She didn't seem to excited though. I was going to call your dad right away and tell him the fantastic news, but I realized he was still in the car driving to work. Then I decided I wanted to tell him in person, not over the phone. So I hatched a plan. I went to the store and bought some newborn diapers, some baby onesies, and other baby stuff, and I would give it to him as a present when he got home from work. That afternoon, I got a text message from him about something, and after I replied to that, I sent him a text telling him I had a present for him. He askedif he could guess what it was. Thinking there was no way he would guess, I said sure. His guess was " you took the pregnancy test early and your pregnant" ARGHHHH!!!!! I was so mad! How did he know. He had ruined my whole surprise. I tried to send him a text to throw him off the trail, but he saw right through it. He pretended to be surprised that night when I gave him the gift. Now we both look back and joke and laugh about it.
As soon as your daddy found out he was going to be a daddy, he went into baby buying mode. Everytime he came home from shopping, he would have a cute little outfit for you. He went online and found baby Snoopy stuff and convinced me to do the nursery in Snoopy, and I'm glad I did, he is so cute. He bought you lots of things on Ebay, especially after we found you were going to be a girl.
I am so lucky to have found your dad. He is the best husband I could ever hope for. He has always taken good care of me, and he has to put up with alot. I don't know why I got so lucky to end up with such a great guy. And I can't wait to see him become a dad. He loves you so much already. I love to see his eyes light up when he talks to you, or how excited he gets when he feels you move. He asks me everyday when you are going to come out(he isn't very patient)
I have loved being pregnant! It is such a miracle to have someone grow inside you. I have had a great pregnancy No morning sickness, not even any cravings.
Your daddy wants you to come out, but I am still enjoying being pregnant. Maybe its a little selfish of me, but I love being able to feel you kick and move around, and knowing that you are mine. I am finally going to have a baby! I am finally going to be a mom, that thought is also a little bit scary. I am going to be in charge of another life. Am I ready for that responsibility? It is a daunting thought. Sometimes it seems so sureal. We have your nursery all rady, and all your clothes washed and ready for you to wear, it is hard to believe that you are almost here. Soon there will be a baby in the empty crib, soon there will be a baby crying and dirty diapers to change, and soon there will be a dream coming true. Your daddy and I dream of you so often, sometimes when we are sleeping, but mostly when we are awake. We dream of what you will do, who you will look like, and what kind of little girl you will become. I can't wait to hold you and rock you to sleep, to see you smile and laugh, to kiss and hug you, but most of all, i can't wait to see your daddy do all of those things with you. Through all this I have grown to love your father even more that I ever thought possible. I pray that one day, many many years from now, that you will find a man as good as your father. Until then, I hope your father and I can teach you all we can to help you prepare to go out into the world. I'm sure we will make mistakes, please forgive us, we have never been parents before, and we will do our best. I just want your to know that we both love you so much, we will always have your best interst at heart, even if it isn't fair, and we will always be there for you, no matter what.

With all my love,
Mom